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Tuesday, November 5, 2024

MR YANI: FROM PREMIERSHIP TO DIVISION ONE

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Mr. Yani, the womanising “Mac Daddy” working at one of the nation’s leading commercial banks, the Rokel Commercial Bank, or RCBank, this medium has been informed, is presently trying to punch way above his reach or league.

Our sources informed that the often demoted banker who was caught red handed trying to steal a bowser full of fuel meant for the bank’s operations in a town where power cuts are a dime a dozen or very frequent, is seeking to influence his way to being the RCBank’s Managing Director from a very humbling position.

The banker who is attempting to leapfrog over much dedicated and seasoned professionals to get to the much desired title of bank MD, we are reliably informed, has since 2018 seen his stock at the bank fall to such a low that it is a comedy of errors for him to desire such a lofty position as the Rokel Commercial Bank’s Managing Director.

Over the weekend, some upset ranking and junior female staff members of the bank’s stellar management team descended on nightwatch informing that Mr. Yani is desperately attempting to “yarn” his way into the MD position at their beloved RCBank.

‘If we were to compare Mr. Yani to a football player, we will put him at being a player that is in League or Division One. Imagine that a Division 1 player wants to perform with the rest of the guys playing in the Premier League. This is preposterous,’ said a ranking female banker.

Relaying his fall from grace, the female bankers said in 2018 Mr. Yani was at the top of his game hence high up the corporate ladder contending in the Premiership League. Due to a lack of focus and some quickly exposed character flaws, he was in 2019 relegated or demoted from his management position; that is, from the Premier League down to the Championship League.

‘But the short-sighted Mr. Yani didn’t see this as a big deal then as he would still try to get in the pants of any female working at the bank including making moves on our female clients. It took him three years to work his way down the ladder to where he presently is. However, we can see that he thinks he can still sweet talk his way back into management position, this time the very top,’ said another of the RCBank female staff members.

The women said that in 2021, the poor performing banker saw his stock or value at the RCBank taking further hits as he was demoted from his then lower level management post to what the women called ‘League 1”, or Division 1.

‘He was being demoted time and time again. The bank obviously saw that he wasn’t performing well. Therefore he was finally put to rest in League or Division 1 level in 2021. Despite his demotions, which should have informed him that he was and still is losing it, he still finds time to perform at the only thing he knew or is known for by every female and male member of staff,’ the RCBank staff members told nightwatch.

The women said the nonperforming Mr. Yani’s only stellar performance is when he is busy “yarning” women and harassing female staff members, adding that the bank cannot promote or consider someone with his track record and personality as a womaniser for a management position, ‘especially not the bank’s Managing Director position,’ they added.

‘The bank will only promote useful people who bring something noteworthy to the bank. Now that Mr. Yani has been finally relegated or demoted to Division 1 level, even as team captain he is not able to perform his duties. Now that the football season is over, now that the season is on recess, instead of going over his work performance to see how he can improve on them, he has instead relegated everything to his assistant, who does all the work, while Yani is very busy calling women to meet him at Malama Thomas Street,’ the female bankers told this medium.

The female RCBank staffers said if Mr. Yani was serious about cleaning up his reputation and climbing his way back up corporate ladder at the bank, now that he has enough time to train and call his teammates, ‘he should be calling them to see how they can work as a team. But he is busy calling chicks to rendezvous with him at Malama Thomas Street’.

‘This time in demotion should have been time for him to prepare to move from Division 1 to the Champions League and back to the Premiership League starting from next season. But although he is still in Division 1 he still wants to be Managing Director of the RCBank. To be considered to be an MD you should be in the Premier League. You can’t be in League 1 and want to be bank MD. He has fallen way too short of the qualification requirements,’ said the RCBank female staffers in closing.

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